For 6 years I struggled with a myriad of mystery illnesses. Some, I didn’t even know were a problem until I was on the other side of them.
Most days went like this:
Wake up. Snooze at least 3 times. Finally get up and rush off to work - gushing caffiene and water to try and wake my zombified brain up.
Work all day with little drive or excitement. Get home, exhausted with debilitating brain fog and joint pain and scroll on my phone for any amount of dopamine to hit my system.
I was told that this zombified state of life was normal. Everyone had trouble getting out of bed and was tired after work. Most of the men in my life didn’t cry and laugh for months.
I was told this was just being stoic.
Later I realized it was actually anhedonia.
There was no pleasure or pain. Just mediocrity every day. Thinking back it really was pretty bleak.
I couldn’t get it up from my tanked hormones and dopamine, things like painting that used to bring me joy and focus were no longer of interest.
It wasn’t until I began noticing a trend when I’d go on vacation for extended periods of time that this wasn’t normal.
I’d disappear camping for a few weeks in the summer and begin to feel like a completely different person. I could sleep a full 8 hours (sometimes more!!) and recall the vivid dreams I had.
I’d go for long walks and get lost in my own day dreams. Something I hadn’t done since I was a young kid.
Everything started to come back online during these weeks.
For a while I thought it was just improving my depression - but I now know that it was also a change in my actual biology as well.
I was no longer being chronically exposed to mold!
If you’re having symptoms of brain fog, depression, anhedonia, trouble with your sleep or other mysterious ailments - consider physically moving locations for a while. THIS is the greatest suggestion I can give to anyone who may be dealing with mold and is unsure.
Next time I’ll go into details on other ways to make yourself more resilient to mold and understand all the mechanisms at play.
Stay healthy my friends,
- S